lecturing? didn't mean to do that, just sharing my thoughts on
this
"And I no longer believe in bending over backwards to tolerate
something that I KNOW will come up in future and be the spark that
ignites anger / frustration / irritation."
because that is what i found - there is a lot of
bending backwards in a marriage - and it took me a long time to
understand that because I found it hard to live with someone else
initially ... ... and compromising was something that I REALLY had
a lot of problems with.
Don't take my words too personally - It was just
my own random thoughts and sharing of what I went through.
There is a difference between compromising and bending over
backwards. Compromise is positive. Bending over
backwards isn't and it can mean betraying yourself and the values
you hold dear, just to make someone happy, and that is something
you can do temporarily, but not permanently, because it is just not
you.
For instance, I have no interest whatsoever in Cricket and if I
force myself to like Cricket and immerse myself in Cricket and
suddenly become some sorta Cricket fanatic just to please a
boyfriend, then that's bending over backwards and it's a bit too
contrived, and probably will not last.
That is my interpretation of "bending over backwards".
